THE ONTARIO LAWYERS’ ASSISTANCE PROGRAM

In the downward spiral

John was struggling. He had been sleeping badly and developed dark circles under his eyes. He had lost his appetite and found little enjoyment in life. John remembered only the bad things that happened at work — the distraught client, the client who argued about his fees, the person who thought he had not called back quickly enough. The good things went unnoticed, like the acquittal for a good family man accused of shoplifting, the excellent access arrangements for a father with his child, the uncontested flow of income. Eventually, he convinced himself that he was not a good practitioner. He felt worthless, hopeless, unmotivated and sad.

His friend, Philip, tried to talk to John as he watched the deterioration. John rejected all offers of help. There was nothing wrong, he said, he just needed some sleep. One night, Philip watched his friend suffer through a self-abasement tirade. Philip asked John if he had considered ending his life. John’s eyes widened as he collapsed into tears again. He said that he needed relief from everything. He could not go on any longer.

Philip took John to emergency counseling through LINK and for treatment to deal with depression. John is back to work now and has to work hard every day to stay alert and realistic about what is happening in his life. Philip saved his life.

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