THE ONTARIO LAWYERS’ ASSISTANCE PROGRAM

Burned Out? At The End Of your Rope? How To Deal With Stress

My name is John Starzynski. I am 52 and a retired lawyer. Envious? Don’t be. I have depression and almost died twice because I believed the rules of health, wellness and balance did not apply to me. I swallowed the messages I thought I got at law school that I was better than non-lawyer types because I got into law school at a young age. I really believed that working longer, harder and faster made me entitled to money, social prestige and a comfortable life. Wrong again!

I am now the Volunteer Executive Director of The Ontario Lawyers' Assistance Program. OLAP is a volunteer peer support program in which some lawyers who are recovering from addictions such as alcoholism and drug addictions, or who are successfully coping with mental wellness challenges, or who have survived tremendous personal and/or professional stress such as partnership split-ups, financial troubles or lawsuits offer to help other lawyers, judges and law students with the challenges of trying to find that balance in personal and professional lives. Other of OLAP’s volunteers are not recovering alcoholics, drug addicts or in recovery for mental illnesses. They are the members of the profession who know about the stresses of work life and everyday life, who are interested in the problems facing us as people and who are trained to listen and offer support. They care about their colleagues and offer their time and assistance to help other members of the profession get through the tough stuff.

Leota Embleton is the Program Manager for OLAP. She is a certified social worker, marriage counselor, family therapist and gambling counselor. She brings the clinical aspect of assessing a person’s needs to OLAP to help impaired or distressed lawyers, judges and law students to be able to live life optimally and productively.

So, how can OLAP help you, a student at Osgoode Hall Law School?

I am going to write some columns about identified issues that affect you as students. Hopefully, some of these tips will help you keep your health and sanity. This first article is about stress relief.

You have heard the words many times -  “I am so stressed out!”.  “That course depresses me.” ; “I just feel like crying”.

These expressions are common ways of saying that things are overwhelming for us - course loads, term papers, mid-terms, exams, part-time jobs, summer job searches, articling worries, financial worries, family obligations. Does it ever get any better?

And we’ve have heard what to do about it as well - setting priorities, catching our second wind and just muddling through it all. After all, we are the smartest of the smartest. Much is expected of us. We are learning to solve problems, not to have them.

The realty of life is that, at times, we feel like we cannot handle anymore. We are tired, irritable, sad, have trouble sleeping, can’t remember things, ache in strange places for no reason and just want to lie down and sleep for a day or two. We are stressed out.

So, here are some tips about taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually (don’t worry – I won’t talk about God) to deal with all that stress. Trying to live your life in balance in these three ways can help to keep you on an even keel and keep you sharp mentally. You can actually feel better and enjoy the things you do more. You can deal with the stress before it gets out of hand. I promise you.

Physically – All those things your mother told you are true – eat three balanced meals a day (Canada Food Guide), get eight hours of sleep a night and exercise at least three times per week for at least a half-hour at a time (walking counts). Try to quit or reduce smoking and the consumption of alcohol – they dehydrate you and affect your blood pressure. Drink lots of water to keep hydrated, reduce fatigue and keep headaches away. Laugh lots – it releases endorphins, the feel-good chemicals in your brain.

The most underrated physical activity is breathing. Just plain breathing. Notice when you get under stress that you stop breathing or take short, shallow breaths just taking air into your upper chest. When you take a deep breath, you expand your stomach and pull in oxygen to your blood and brain. Breathing too fast and deeply can even leave you lightheaded. Three slow deep breaths taking air in through your nose and slowly out your mouth will lower your blood pressure and relax your immediately. Try it and you will feel your shoulders relax and maybe even feel the fog lift.

Emotionally – Have a good, trusted friend to talk to, confide in and laugh with often. Get a pet – a dog will give you unconditional love and be glad to see you whether you have been gone for 10 minutes or 10 hours. Walking a dog gives you exercise and a friendly, non-judgmental and eager ear. Read non-law fluff stuff to break the intensity of the law. Spend time in activities that give you pleasure. Get and give lots of hugs to feel connected to other people.

Spiritually – Here it comes. No God stuff. Do what you love passionately. Put your heart and soul (closest I get) into activities that help you feel like you are making a difference. Look for your meaning in life and figure out how your law degree can help you get there. Laugh often at the silliness in life and smile at the tenderness in nature.

One last thing. Ask yourself this question – “Who is the most important person in my life?” If you have not answered “I am!”, then we need to talk.

For extremely helpful information, please go to www.lpic.ca. You will find the PracticePro information which provides checklists and the highly-regarded online Coaching Clinic which offers a workshop to help deal with stress – “Getting Stress Hardy”. Valuable wellness information can also be found at www.obap.ca and www.lpac.ca . To get information about the Law Society of Upper Canada’s Equity Initiative Department’s Diversity Mentorship Program, go to www.lsuc.on.ca or call the Program Coordinator at 416-947-3911 or by email at rosborne@lsuc.on.ca.

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Legal Profession Assistance Conference (LPAC) |Commission on Lawyer Assistance Programs (CoLAP) | Lawyers Assistance Program of British Columbia (BCLAP) | Nova Scotia Lawyers Assistance Program (NSLAP) | Law Society of Upper Canada (LSUC) | The Lawyers Assistance Program (LINK) | The Alberta Lawyers Assistance Program | Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers (Saskatchewan) | The Lawyers Professional Indemnity Company (LawPRO) | Law Practice Consulting