THE ONTARIO LAWYERS’ ASSISTANCE PROGRAM

How Do I Know if My Co-Worker is Depressed?

You get to know your co-workers well when you work closely with them. You spend more time with them than you do with your own family. Sometimes you notice that things are not right, indicators that something is going on. But how do you piece the signs together to know that your friend is perhaps depressed?

Statistically one in four women and one in ten men can expect to develop depression at some point in their lives. These are self-reported figures but the actuals are probably the same percentage because men will not usually report preferring to “act like a man” and “tough it out”. Four in ten Canadians report that someone close to them has been diagnosed with depression.

According to the Legal Profession Assistance Conference, the umbrella organization for all lawyer assistance plans across Canada, lawyers experience mental wellness issues at three times the rate of the general population and six times the rate of suicide.

Depression is a very treatable illness. 80% of people with depression can feel better with a reduction in symptoms when they receive appropriate treatment.

A person who is clinically depressed will exhibit a number of symptoms that are set out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition – the DSM-IV. In case you do not have yours handy, here is an overview of what to look for.

A person will have significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning. Depression, however, does not include symptoms that are clearly due to a general medical condition such as thyroid problems or, more seriously, delusions or hallucinations. Grief symptoms are similar to depression but if they last longer than two months, there may be depression.

Someone who has had five or more of the following changes to their previous functioning for a two-week period is probably depressed. Here are the symptoms to look for.

• Depressed mood – The person feels sad and morose and can be tearful. The person feels empty and unfulfilled but does not know how to get meaning back into their life.

• Diminished interest and pleasure – The person just does not seem to care about anything any more - even topics or events that used to give them pleasure. The baseball fan does not care if his team won or lost. The mom does not care how her kids are doing at school. Nothing at all excites the depressed person.

• Weight gain or loss – Significant weight changes (more than 5% in a month) are evident when a person is not dieting or trying to gain weight. The person either cannot get enough to eat or is never hungry and does not eat at all.

• Insomnia or Hypersomnia – The person either sleeps very little or way more than is normal for that person.

• Agitation or retardation – The person either cannot sit still or, on the flip side, cannot get the energy up to even want to move.

• Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day – Even with spurts of agitation, the person will always feel tired with little energy (wrung out like a sponge).

• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt – The person will say things like “I’m no good” or “My work sucks” or “I bet I made a mistake” or “I deserve to get in trouble” even when work quality is average or above average. The person judges themselves by an unrealistic set of unachievable standards.

• Diminished ability to think or concentrate or indecisiveness – The person will take longer than normal to think things through - almost like he/she is daydreaming or is “out of it”. The person will just not seem to be able to make a decision wavering between both sides of a question. You may ask the person a question and get a response with a clearing shake of the head – “Whhaat?”

• Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for suicide – The person will say things like “Everyone would be better off if I were dead” or “I can’t go on like this” or “It will all be over soon” or  “I wish I were dead”. The most telling sign is a suicide attempt such as an overdose of pills or sitting in a closed garage with the engine running and the windows open. This symptom demands immediate attention and not acceptance of the diversionary comment – “I’m okay, just leave me alone”.

 So, what do you do or say to someone you think may be depressed? Here are some tips.

• Listen without judgment – Let the person talk without trying to push the conversation. Let there be gaps in the discussion if necessary. Let the depressed person set the pace but be willing to go at his/her speed.
  
• Don’t say patronizing things like – “You’ll feel better tomorrow” or “No big deal” or “You’d never kill yourself” or “Liven up”.
  
• Do say things like - “What can I do to help?” or “Is there anything I can do?”
  
• Help make his/her work load appropriate by reducing or refocusing his/her energies to manageable and successful tasks.
  
• If they are seeing a doctor, offer to take them to just be with them.
  
• Try to talk about the things that used to excite them – “How are your Blue Jays doing?” or “Great win last night” or “How are the kids?” or “Do you have any plans for the next school break?”. Keep it light and mine for those nuggets of interest.
  
• If the behavior or comments are of a suicidal nature, directly ask the person if they are considering taking their own life. If the answer is yes, immediately get medical attention for the person even if it means taking them to the emergency department of the hospital.

Often, your friendship and acceptance can be the key to helping a person get help for this illness and keeping in recovery. One-on-one non-judgmental concern goes farther than medications too assist in improvement.

The Ontario Lawyers'  Assistance Program helps lawyers, judges and law students who suffer from depression and other mental wellness challenges.

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